We’re just one month away from the release of Fantastic Four: First Steps, and Marvel Studios is pulling out all the stops by dropping the brand new final trailer. It showed us so many awesome details, from the arrival of the Silver Surfer, to a demonstration of all of the Four’s powers, to our first look at more than Galactus’s boot, but the thing that stuck out to me the most was that Ben Grimm, the ever-loving Thing, had a beard. Just like the rest of him, this beard was orange rocks and all, which begs the question: How can The Thing even grow a beard in the first place?
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That’s what I’m here to explain.
Thing Has Had a Beard Before (in the Comics)
Ever since his introduction as the loveable bundle of rocks, people have been slapping fake beards on Thing. One classic example is his constant cosplays and disguises as Blackbeard the Pirate, fit with the fitting black beard, which started in Fantastic Four volume one #5. There was also Johnny Storm’s April Fool’s Day prank from Marvel Fanfare volume one #15, which saw the Human Torch glue orange straws to Ben’s face to convince him he had stubble. However, none of these were real or grown by Thing, until the legendary Jonathan Hickman introduced the mainline Marvel Universe Thing having grown a beard in Fantastic Four #605. Just like in the trailer, Thing’s beard was made entirely of rocks.
But how can someone made of rocks grow a beard at all? Well, it’s a common misconception that Thing is made out of rocks, when in actuality the rocks are a protective shell that grow out of his skin. He’s still a squishy human underneath all the rubble, and if he’s hit hard enough the rocks can be broken to reveal the very real flesh hidden beneath them. Obviously it’s very hard to do that kind of damage to Thing, but it’s possible. The rocks are practically another layer of skin, and it makes sense that Thing’s hair would be covered in the same rocks that cover the rest of him, so that’s not a problem, but if he can grow a beard, why can’t Thing grow hair? We’ve seen him revert to human several times over the years, and each time he has a full head of hair. Well, the answer to all of this might come with time.
See, Fantastic Four #605 takes place thousands of years into the future, and shows Ben Grimm near the end of his extraordinarily long life. As he aged, it might be possible that some of his rocky skin begins to crack a bit, which opens up space for beard hair to grow through and harden into rocks like the rest of him. The same wouldn’t happen on the top of his head, because by that point he would have just naturally gone bald. At least, that’s the theory that makes the most sense to me. It’s equally possible that he simply redeveloped the ability to grow a beard as his body adjusted to his powers. The looming question here is: what occurs in Fantastic Four: First Steps to create time and space for Thing to get that disheveled? What do you think?
I’m fine with Thing having a beard, but the question that keeps me up at night is how does he shave it? He should compare super-shaving techniques with Superman, I’m sure that’d be a great conversation.
Fantastic Four: First Steps premiers in theaters July 25th!
